the monkey manifesto: adventure

The Two Claudes

CLAUDE -- DAMMIT!
CLAUDE -- ...
CLAUDE -- Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!
CLAUDE -- yes?
CLAUDE -- I can't believe this is, is,... Dammit!
CLAUDE -- hmmm...
CLAUDE -- pliancy
CLAUDE -- eh?
CLAUDE -- Pliancy! This isn't pliant.
CLAUDE -- What isn't pliant?
CLAUDE -- It's not pliant.
CLAUDE -- What?
CLAUDE -- This!
CLAUDE -- What? Oh, that.
CLAUDE -- See.
CLAUDE -- Let me see.
CLAUDE -- See.
CLAUDE -- I do. It really isn't pliant, but that's not the word I would've used.
CLAUDE -- Oh, you wouldn't.
CLAUDE -- No, that's not the word I would've used.
CLAUDE -- What would you have said?
CLAUDE -- Well...
CLAUDE -- Well?
CLAUDE -- Not pliancy, that's for sure.
CLAUDE -- Well?
CLAUDE -- Soft?
CLAUDE -- That's terrible.
CLAUDE -- Not soft?
CLAUDE -- Well of course it's not soft.
CLAUDE -- Well I can tell that.
CLAUDE -- Soft describes something diferent than pliant.
CLAUDE -- How so?
CLAUDE -- Soft is texture. Pliant implies changeable.
CLAUDE -- Malleable then?
CLAUDE -- Still texture.
CLAUDE -- No it's not.
CLAUDE -- Yes it is. Malleable implies texture.
CLAUDE -- No it doesn't. Malleable implies changeable.
CLAUDE -- It's a property of metal. Metal is malleable.
CLAUDE -- But it's changeable. Metal is malleable, ergo able to be changed into thin sheets.
CLAUDE -- But it only refers to metal, thusly it is texture based.
CLAUDE -- and ductile means stretched into wires.
CLAUDE -- What are you talking about?
CLAUDE -- Malleable and ductile, things you can do to metal.
CLAUDE -- But only metal.
CLAUDE -- so?...
CLAUDE -- Not this, this is pliant.
CLAUDE -- But not soft?
CLAUDE -- Soft is an adjective, hence it is texture.
CLAUDE -- Pliant is an adjective too.
CLAUDE -- But pliancy is an idea, a concept.
CLAUDE -- You keep saying pliant. That's an adjective.
CLAUDE -- Semantics.
CLAUDE -- heh?
CLAUDE -- I may keep saying pliant, but I mean pliancy. The concept, not the modifier.
CLAUDE -- Malleable and ductile are verbs.
CLAUDE -- But not concepts.
CLAUDE -- Pliancy refers to that which is pliable... a verb.
CLAUDE -- Your point?
CLAUDE -- Malleability and ductility are concepts then, by default.
CLAUDE -- Default?
CLAUDE -- They end in "y" like pliancy.
CLAUDE -- So you are saying that ending in "y" makes something a concept?
CLAUDE -- Yes.
CLAUDE -- Is that a blanket statement?
CLAUDE -- I suppose.
CLAUDE -- So then - "monkey" - that's a concept?
CLAUDE -- It could be.
CLAUDE -- Or filly or calumny or Philly?
CLAUDE -- Well...
CLAUDE -- Or money?
CLAUDE -- Money's a concept!
CLAUDE -- Poor example.
CLAUDE -- Fine, I'll revoke my blanket statement.
CLAUDE -- As well you should.
CLAUDE -- Can we start over?
CLAUDE -- Over?
CLAUDE -- yes, can we start over?
CLAUDE -- Dammit!?
CLAUDE -- No...
CLAUDE -- Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!?
CLAUDE -- No. With pliancy?
CLAUDE -- What with pliancy?
CLAUDE -- I said, "That's not the word I would've used." and you said
CLAUDE -- "What would you have said?"
CLAUDE -- And then I said, "soft."
CLAUDE -- No you didn't.
CLAUDE -- I most certainly did.
CLAUDE -- No, you said, "Well..." and I said, "Well?" and you said, "Not pliancy, that's for sure." and I said "Well?" and then you said, "Soft?" You used "soft" as an Am-I-right question. Not an I-am-right Statement.
CLAUDE -- I don't rub your mistakes in your face.
CLAUDE -- Well maybe you should. I know it makes it easier for me to deal with you.
CLAUDE -- Excuse me?
CLAUDE -- All I'm saying is that maybe you should rub my mistakes in my face.
CLAUDE -- Is that so?
CLAUDE -- When I start making some I'll let you know.
CLAUDE -- Ass.
CLAUDE -- All I'm saying is that sometimes you need objectivity. You don't realize that there's a problem until someone else makes light of it, because they aren't invested as closely as you are. Once someone else points it out, you can see it for yourself when it happens again.
CLAUDE -- Oh, and you're willing to point out your mistakes for me so that I can become objective.
CLAUDE -- Of course, I have plenty of objectivity.
CLAUDE -- How did you get that?
CLAUDE -- I have an ideal model to work from.
CLAUDE -- A model?
CLAUDE -- Someone who's mistakes I can point out so that I don't make them myself. It's rather helpful.
CLAUDE -- Oh...
CLAUDE -- So, about "soft"? what would you have said instead?
CLAUDE -- A model huh?
CLAUDE -- Indeed. So about "soft"?
CLAUDE -- Who is this model?
CLAUDE -- Oh don't worry, it's not you.
CLAUDE -- Oh, okay. Good.
CLAUDE -- Oh, hey. That objectivity I mentioned.
CLAUDE -- Yes?
CLAUDE -- There's some for you. I just made a mistake.
CLAUDE -- I hate you.
CLAUDE -- So what would you have said instead of "soft"?
CLAUDE -- Forget it.
CLAUDE -- No. What would you have said?
CLAUDE -- No.
CLAUDE -- What's a better word than pliancy?
CLAUDE -- Nevermind.
CLAUDE -- I will not. What's a word for pliancy. What would you have said had you been engaged in the conversation. What? Enlighten me!
CLAUDE -- ...
CLAUDE -- Yes?
CLAUDE -- moldy...
CLAUDE -- You are such an ass!
CLAUDE -- What?!
CLAUDE -- Ass Ass Ass!
CLAUDE -- What's wrong with moldy?
CLAUDE -- It's an adjective, not a concept! Unless you mean able to be molded, then the word is MOLDABLE!
CLAUDE -- Oh.
CLAUDE -- Not Moldy! Bread, Vegetables, Fruit! These are things that get moldy! Ideas are moldable!
CLAUDE -- But I was right.
CLAUDE -- But you weren't. It was a decent thought, but it suffered from your own asinine execution. Moldy?!
CLAUDE -- Well...
CLAUDE -- You could have made up a word: Moldifiable, moldyable, moldishable. All of these would have been better than what you actually said!
CLAUDE -- ...
CLAUDE -- Ass.