the monkey manifesto: adventure

Do you see this?

Never eat at Golden Chick.

"Why?" you may ask.

Well, aside from the fact that it's just not very good, and that it always seems to be cold, and dry, and my mom once found fried hair in an order of tenders. Fried Hair! Aside from all that, you still shouldn't eat there. Even if you're drunk and wasted and really need some chicken.

Look at that logo mascot!

You know what that mascot says to me?

Don't eat me, I'm inferior.

Look at that guy. He has glasses. The chicken has bad eyes. Just like that egghead Junior who was always duping Foghorn Leghorn.

Yeah, him...I wouldn't eat that chicken either.

A chicken with glasses is crippled chicken. He doesn't have strong healthy eyes. He's a damn handicap.

Who wants to put crippled chicken into their belly... Not me, that's for sure. You might as well fill up on chicken that's riddled with pus-filled tumors.

Any way you slice it, Crippled Chicken is Crippled Chicken.