There are certain, specific, innate patterns, models and rhythms that follow one indefinitely through their life. Everyone has some karmic framework that will schematize the bias of their existence. Some have an auspicious advantage; their standard shines, their constellation smiles. While others, such as I, shoulder this incessant social ostracism. As long as I can remember, I have been unconsciously excluded. Usually the exclusion arises when a number of people get together. The real problem is that people never save me a seat, as if they've forgotten that I'm even around, it was a common lunch-time phenomenon during Elementary School, Junior High, High School, and Undergrad. Actually... it was a common all-the-time phenomenon. I don't feel particularly disliked, in fact quite the opposite, I feel rather well-liked, but it always seems that when it's time for people to sit down in a group I have been driving in everyone's blindspot. Are you my friends or aren't you? Why doesn't anyone ever save me a seat in a crowd? Why doesn't anyone ever want to sit by me except out of necessity? "Shut up and get the fuck over it," you may say. "Deal with it, it doesn't mean anything," you may think. But obviously this has never happened to you... and if it has, then this has never happened to you on a regular basis, time after time after time after fucking time. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I don't understand this hand I've been dealt.