Well, what an adventurous day... or the likes thereof. I wasted six hours of my precious life today at the Texas DPS. I got up this morning at 7:30, and studied their stupid Drivers [sic] Handbook for an hour and a half, eventually got fed up and shouted, as I threw the book across the living room, "I'm either going to pass or fail this, there's no point in studying this trash!" I leave the Manifesto Headquarters and head down Northwestern to the DPS office. I figure I'll just stop at a bank on the way there for the requisite $24 that I'll need for my new Driver's license. Now, should you ever decide that you are going to go east on Northwestern from 75, let me inform you that THERE ARE NO BANKS THAT WAY!, no matter how hard you want a bank, there won't be one, unless you want to feel extorted at the ATM. Eventually I found a Target, but they didn't have much that I felt like purchasing to get some cash back. I eventually settled on some antifreeze and some band-aids (unrelated story) and headed back to the DPS. When I did get there, I thought things would be super easy, because they sure started off that way. I filled out my form, handed it back, and the receptionist gave me this Express Test Number. The whole room is full of these poor saps who need a license, I start to worry that I'll be there forever, but the moment I sit down, they call my number. Glee! I head back, and the process is short and painless, fill out this, sign that, read some letters. I opt to take the test on computer instead of written. The written test has more questions than the computer test, however the computer test asks 26 random questions. If you study really hard and want them to know that you did, take the written test. If you study really hard and want to be out of there take the Computer. If you don't study much at all... good luck sucka. Lucky me got an 84% (I missed four questions regarding Texas law, but passed everything that related to the actual act of operating a motor vehicle.) I guess I should count myself lucky, I could have been the guy taking the test next to me, who didn't know what this sign was, and who actually asked me what it was in a very loud tone. I'm surprised they passed him. But he did get a 70%, so look out kids. They sent me back around the building for the driving portion, and here the hell began. I proceed to wait in line for a tester for an hour and twenty minutes. By the time I get to the front, the guy asks for my paperwork and insurance verification. I hand it over. He then says, "Your truck is registered and insured in Texas... Why do you have Oklahoma plates? You need to put on your Texas plates." I think to myself, "I've been pretty busy with Grad school, no time to put on the plates that have been lying on my floor for the last 2 1/2 months." He then asks for the left blinker, then the right blinker... and then (here's the kicker) "Press your horn, please," he asks. I press the center of my horn and all that comes out is a pathetic electric bleat, which quickly dies. My fucking horn was broken! He tells me that I can't take the test with a broken horn! Is this really a necessary accoutrement for a driving test? Anyways, now I have to go to Pep Boys and buy some fuses, go home and put on my Texas plates, top off my oil, and fill my antifreeze. I leave just in time to get back for my 1:00 reschedule. Mind you I've now been up since 7:30, focused on this stupid test. Needless to say, I passed. I had the same tester, and he was glad that I got my horn fixed. And as I dropped him off after the test, he complimented my driving finesse. Yay! Then I go to get my picture, and this texas princess takes my picture. After the camera flashes, she says, "Good Picture!" Hooray. So in the end, the day turned out okay, I'm now street legal again. I just would have liked a little more sleep. and as a footnoot, a little Primus. I've been to hell. I spell it... I spell it DMV Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream And if I had my druthers I'd screw a chimpanzee "DMV" -- Primus Unfortunately, I don't get to sleep in tomorrow either. Problems with my Alternator or Starter... I don't know... something mechanical based.