the monkey manifesto: adventure

Okay Monkeyteers! The time has come. Yes, it's time for:

The 1st Sweet-Ass Super Contest!

The Monk E Mart needs your help. Cafepress wants a lot of different write-ups from me to describe my store, and, let's be frank, I'm tired of trying to come up with everything that the store needs description-wise.

That's where you all come in!!

I'm going to tell you what the store still needs, and then you give me a write-up of said description(s). The winner (chosen by me) will receive a shirt of their choosing, and I'm talking like a Baseball jersey or a Raglan, not a silly white t-shirt. Boring.

So email your entry to me and I'll choose a winner on Friday.

Okay, here are the four things that the Monk E Mart needs:

1) Keywords / Phrases
Enter keywords and phrases that are descriptive of the Monk E Mart and all of its goods. Seperate words and phrases with commas (i.e. "monkey, monkeys, clothing"). There is a limit on this to 250 characters (not words). Bonus points will be awarded for entering exactly 250 characters.

2) Meta-Tag Description
Enter a short description describing the Monk E Mart. This will be used as the meta-description on the shop front. This is how search engines find the Monk E Mart. Be detailed, be simple, be repetitive. Write a Meta-Tag Description that would make Uncle Bocephus cry with pride. There is no character limit on this.

3) Store Description
Enter a description for the Monk E Mart. This description is displayed on the main page. Currently it only says, "Welcome to Monk E Mart. Your home for quality goods since March 2003." But that's rather boring. Make it shine people! But make it different from the Meta-Tag Description. This is the first thing people read on the page.

4) Directory Display Description
Now it is time to put your P.R. skills to the test. You have 50 characters and only 50 characters to describe the Monk E Mart. Make it snappy, inviting, original, encompassing, but most of all it must be very concise. Bonus points will be awarded for entering exactly 50 characters. Remember, "Brevity is... wit"

Okay, that's all. Send those four descriptions in to my email Before Midnight PST on Thursday. I pick the winner on Friday.

You must complete all four descriptions to be considered for the prize. Other than that there are no regulations. Even my sister can play! Woot!

Ooh! Here's a damn bonus prize! If you know where this quote is from I'll upgrade your prize if you are the winner. I'll upgrade you to a hoodie, or like a shirt and a mug or something.
Include the answer (if you know it) with your entry.

"Quickly, in here. Who's driving? Oh my god! Bear is driving! How can that be?"