There are three stages of drinking: The "This is hard work, when am I going to get drunk" stage, the "This is a great buzz, I'm king of the fucking world" stage, and the "Oh shit, if I lie down or stop moving the room will spin and I'll vomit" stage. Now the first stage lasts longer than I really want it to, the second stage doesn't last long enough, and the third stage lasts too too long. How do I reallocate these proportions? I can deal with most of the first stage, but the problem comes in with the other two phases... I want the second to last a really long time, and, ideally, the third stage would be better if it never happened at all. I don't have the funds to hone this technique to a more pleasing allocation aesthetic... what's the quick way to figure out how to get buzzed fast, and keep buzzed forever without getting all swim queasy?