1: It impairs or elucidates judgement. (and it doesn't tell you which one it is doing) 2: It impairs or elucidates perceived mutual attraction. (and, once again, it doesn't tell you which one) 3: It eliminates perception of time. (like when someone left, or how far they went before they returned) 4: It eliminates logic. (like "This is a terrible plan of action, if I were sober I wouldn't do it) 5: It replaces need with want. (self-explanatory) 6: It inflates self-worth and/or self-confidence. (not such a bad deal) 7: It skews all sense of self-known appeal. (therefor eye-contact is interpreted as much more than "eye contact", i.e. The Dr. Gonzo Moment) 8: It is processed much too quickly into the bladder. (had it not been for this filtering process, I might not have been at home to write this, or even ponder this... but that's just Point #7 talking) 9: Its effects don't wear off fast enough. (i.e. When your bed undulates to the motion of a sea thousands of miles away) 10: Its effects wear off much too quickly. (i.e. I'm writing this and regretting doing so concurrently) All in all, a terrible evil drug, that I want more of...